Spawn of Audrey II

Of course there's more. Why else would I have pulled those other two posts out of draft? ;)

Trying to replace the last mattress taught me an important lesson.

I'd spent over a week calling the two Kmart's near me (since that's where I'd have to exchange the mattress) and was told repeatedly that there were no full sized inflatable mattresses in stock and that I should call back the next morning. Which I did. Finally I decided to replace the mattress by mail. When I went online to do that, guess what the website showed? That the mattress was IN STOCK at my store! The store that only a few hours earlier had told me they had NO IDEA when they'd come in and to "call back tomorrow!" PLUS, they'd consistently told me they only re-stock at midnight, so it's not as if it got stocked in the middle of the day. The mattresses had probably been there all week.

I ordered online and less than two hours later I was told my item was ready for pickup at the store. From that point on the whole exchange was pretty straightforward and probably took less time than waiting in regular lines for a purchase. AND AND AND!!! Get this! It was $15 cheaper online! I got money BACK!

Which is why this is the route I took when THAT mattress attacked me in my sleep.

Oh yes, that one too developed a leak that, once again, I could not hear or find, but the sinking - within about 15 minutes this time - was unmistakable. (How can something deflate in 15 minutes and not make a sound?) I knew right away I'd be going the "order online for store pickup" route this time, but I wouldn't be able to get to the store for a couple of days. On night two, while half asleep in my bed, due to the deflation of the mattress and the ensuing lack of tension on the fitted sheet, the far right corner of my sheet came off the mattress. But it didn't just slide off. It FLUNG itself off - like a slingshot that's been released. And when it flung itself off the corner, it flung itself up into the air, across and over onto my head. Do you know what it's like to be sleeping, alone in a room, and have a sheet suddenly thrown over your entire head? Ponder that for a moment!

My first though actually was that it was due to the mattress deflating, but I lay very still for several minutes, listening... to be sure.

The mattress went back that day.

I know… get a real mattress. Not yet. Too many real life things up in the air at the moment. Hassle and travel costs aside, I'm only out $50-ish for my aggravation. Though now that I think of it, those travel costs might start adding up if this continues.



Judy said...

The 'sheet being thrown over your head' thing sounds a little paranormaly :) haha. Yeah, don't ever get a real mattress. This is all too entertaining!

Noisy Quiet said...

If only there was a way to record that moment! I lay there thinking "That's from the mattress... right? .... Right???"

This is the last mattress post for now. You're all caught up to the present. But who knows what this one may try to do!

Stella said...

Another thing my recent encounter with a clairvoyant told me was that apparently I am very intuitive. As I read the first couple of paragraphs I noted that Kmart was out of mattresses. The INTUITIVE side of me told me that was a sign from the UNIVERSE to go and get thee a real bed!
Then you'll be able to sleep without sheets attacking you and you can dream and report your dreams.
When you do buy a new mattress you are, of course, obliged to keep us informed and updated of the process. Just so we can sleep soundly knowing you have a mattress.

Stella said...

Or maybe you should get an inflatable mattress from a camping shop?

Noisy Quiet said...

Whenever I get a real mattress again, I'll let you know :)

I hadn't thought to go to a camping shop. These are camping mattresses, but maybe camping stores would have better quality ones. Might consider it. Thanks.

Fraudster said...

I really did laugh at loud at your mattress attacking you!


Noisy Quiet said...

Oh good! I'm always worried people will be bored by stuff like this! Thanks for stopping by :)

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