I dream about bugs

I dreamt there was a bug that I used as part of a magic trick. It was some kind of beetle or large cockroach or waterbug. It wasn't a pretty beetle like a scarab. This was a big brown bug with legs that ran very fast, and its shell was more segmented, not round-ish and shiny.

I was afraid of this bug and would squeal just like everyone else who saw it. But it was also part of my "magic trick" so I would try to make sure nobody stepped on it. They'd just back away quickly screaming. As, pretty much, did I. Then I guess I'd put the bug back in its box, the trick would be over, and life would go on.

During the dream, at some point, my logical mind intervened. - It does this sometimes and totally messes with my "dream world" logic. When my "real" logic stepped in, I thought "wait a minute... this is a living thing. Why would I have never thought of that before? I've used this bug as part of a trick for years, as a "thing," but it's alive... it's a living being..." And then I thought "What is wrong with me?!" In this dream, I had 'memories' of the trick and bug that went back years and I was confused about how none of this had occurred to me until that moment.

I wondered if it was still alive. I vaguely remembered throwing a dry dog food kibble into the box, to feed it, and then leaving it for a year or more, and it would always still be there, alive, when I went back months (years?) later and opened the trick.

"Years?" I thought. It couldn't have been years.... How long had I let it go in a box without using it? The kibble must last a long time, and then the bug must be able to go for long times without food.... - this is what I told myself.

I wondered if it was still alive. I remembered that I kept it in a little white cardboard box (the box was small, about four inches by two inches.) I got the box out of my magic case and tried to lift just a little piece of the lid's flap to peek in - because I knew the bug could scurry quickly, and I was still afraid of it. I wasn't afraid that it would bite. It just scared me.

Through the small opening of the lid I could see a leg. Just a leg. It must have fallen off. How? Ugh. Was it dead? Would a leg fall of if it were dead? Do legs fall off bugs that die? - I got more squeamish, but I tried to peek further. Was there a dead bug in there that had been dead for a while now? I looked a bit more towards the other side of the box - and the very much alive bug ran towards the opening! I closed the gap in the lid quickly. Definitely still alive. Definitely still creeped me out, and I was definitely still afraid of it for no logical reason other than I just was!

I handed the box to a guy (No idea where he came from!) and told him to hold down the lid of the box and not let it open at all or the bug would run out. "Keep it closed!" Then I started to think... I had to do something. I needed to get food. I got rid of any dog kibble a long time ago. Who did I know who had a dog or might have a kibble to spare? They must eat other things... maybe other pet food would do? Or human food? What wouldn't rot? There had to be something else I could give it besides the dog kibble I'd thrown in once in a while.

I'd need a terrarium now too. A small fish tank. Not too small. Not like a hermit crab tank. Maybe a two gallon tank for starters. I couldn't just let it "go free" it'd lived in a BOX it's whole life. A 2" x 4" empty box!

I'd have to go to the pet store, get rocks, plants... an entire setup and put this "thing" in there and let it live as a pet. I couldn't believe I was going to keep this bug, that I was afraid of, as a pet. Of all the things to need to make a commitment to and be responsible for now. But it WAS my responsibility and how could I have not done that earlier???

I needed to Google this bug and see what would be the best setup for it. I would look up madagascar cockroaches.... They weren't the same, but they were about the same size so maybe their setups would be similar. It'd be a starting point at least. Maybe then I could look up waterbugs too... Maybe, eventually, I could learn to pick it up without all its little legs freaking me out when they moved. (I couldn't imagine how that would ever happen!)

All this was going through my head (I need to get food.... where to get food... what will work... I have to go to the pet store right now and buy some kind of setup... I should Google and see, quickly, what would be best....) panicked lists... what to do first... petstore? Money? Something else? I had to move NOW!

HOW COULD I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE???

- and then I woke up.