Waiter, there's a hair in my salad salad in my hair

* From my Draft Folder

My scalp was bothering me. I tried olive oil. It helped. 24 hours later I looked up how to get olive oil out of my hair. The answer... vinegar.

All I need now is croutons.

Stop acting like an inmate!

A woman kept yelling this at someone a few yards behind me. Eventually I glanced to see what was going on. I thought she might be annoyed with an adult who was having socialization problems now that they were no longer incarcerated, but no. The comment was directed at a child who was being too rowdy.

I suppose it's no worse than saying "Stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off." I mean seriously, is that an image you want in your kids' heads, right next to their dreams of lollipops and rainbow colored unicorns?

Still... "Stop acting like an inmate!?" What the heck?

* From my Draft Folder

Saved to draft

I have over 50 unpublished posts saved to draft.

Some are rants. Writing about something that irks me is easy. Publishing it, not so much.

Some are rambly - You know. The ones written on days when you think "I'll just write something. That's gotta be better than nothing." - And then realize, it's not.

Many are writing prompts that I had answers to but don't think they're interesting enough to warrant cluttering up the blog and/or the interwebnet.

Some were timely. And the time passed.

****

Above is FROM "Draft Folder!" :)

Will publish "from draft" this week.

Yes, EXACTLY like that!

Me

They recognized me. That was weird. I didn't expect that.

Friend

Why?

Me

I don't know. I only met them once, and… I don't know… I don't think of myself as being that memorable looking, that someone would remember what I looked like later. PLUS my hair was down and I was wearing totally different clothes. Last time I was wearing a headband and my hair was back in a ponytail.

Friend

And you think that makes you look totally different.

Me

Yes.

Friend

So you think you're like Superman.

Me

(Pause)

YES!!!!

Feelin' no pain

Conversation with a friend after surgery

Me

How are you feeling?

Her

Good! Good! Except I think the meds they gave me are making me hallucinate... I keep seeing all these weird images.... like Christmas ornaments with evil muppet mouths... opening and closing.... and they're all sparkly... Really vivid! And they keep popping up...

Me

Are your eyes open or closed when you see these images?

Her

Closed.

Me

Well that's a plus.

(Later)

Her

You know how people get those surgeries to have wiskers put in? Like a cat? Maybe you could have that done someday! You could have cat whiskers surgically put in!

Me

Cat whiskers...

Her

Yeah! And then you could get one of those tattoos to look like you have spots all over you.... like cats do! Like a leopard!

Me

You know... it's been a long time since I've spoken with someone who's high as a kite. I kind of miss these little talks.

Just a spoonful of sugar....

My friend's kids got a cake making kit. Guess who got to supervise?

Here's how they're supposed to look

And here's how they actually looked.

(We liked to call this "the cheeseburger stage")

The cakes were about the size of a cupcake bottom with no top, and there was more icing on these than cake, so when the kids asked if they could eat them, I said they could each have 1/4 of their cakes. - Which was essentially the same thing as scooping out 2 tablespoons of confectioner's sugar, adding food coloring, and saying "here!"

It didn't take long before their speech ramped up to about a hundred miles per hour and they were ricochetting off the walls. Their "crashes" later were just as evident. Funny to watch, in a way, but thank God I didn't say "Sure! Pop the whole thing in your mouth!" 

Geiko Possum Commercial

Been laughing at this for several weeks now. (Laughed at it again just now!) Posting this mostly for overseas readers.

There's a whole series of similar commercials whose premise is to show bad ways to save money, followed by the suggestion that you save money by buying their affordable insurance instead.

My other two "money saving" favorites are a couple that use a "Rescue Panther" instead of a home security system (watch this in full screen mode!), and a man who gets "Popular Girls" from a local school to follow him around and berate his eating habits instead of signing up for a weight loss program.