Mutant Egg

I wrote a post a while back (which I didn't post) about how I was developing an odd fear of eggs. The short version is that I once had an unfortunate experience with a batch of fertilized eggs. - It's not the worst scenario you can imagine, but it was bad enough that by egg number 2 or 3 I freaked out, threw out the carton, and couldn't deal with eggs for quite some time. That was many years ago. In time, I resumed eating eggs and life in the egg department has since been uneventful.

Recently, a carton of eggs I bought tasted different. They hadn't gone bad, they just had a different flavor. I rationalized that it was probably due to the feed. Nevertheless, for some reason, that carton of eggs brought up my latent fear of eggs, and I noticed that each time I went to crack open one of those eggs I was having a slight panic attack. I know this doesn't make sense. I've had plenty of eggs since "the incident," both fertile and non,  and everything has been fine, so I tried to push through the irrational feelings. But over the next week or so, the "egg fear" persisted and I eventually decided to respect my inner "whatever" and not finish the carton. Which left me with two perfectly good eggs that I was just being WEIRD about.

What to do with the eggs...

My neighborhood has, at times, been loud at night. This hasn't been much of a problem recently, but with each new summer I never know how bad things might get. In anticipation of a potentially loud summer, I decided the eggs might be useful as ammunition. Far easier than trying to pour water down a cardboard ramp to ensure maximum dousage while only opening the window a crack (Go ahead, picture that. It works. And it makes it harder for the drunks, drug dealers, passersby to figure out which window just threw a bucket of water on them.) And hey, if the eggs went rotten? All the better. However, the summer was relatively uneventful, noise wise, so the eggs remained in my fridge.

- And now, one of them is beginning to mutate.

The mutant egg is getting a whitish sticky film on the outside of its shell. At first I thought something had spilled on it so I cleaned it. That's right. I cleaned my rotten eggs with soap and water then carefully returned them to my fridge. Within a few days, one of the eggs was covered in the white stuff again.

It's a little disturbing.

I'm guessing the gasses are pushing the egg white out through the pores of the shell. I'd take a picture of it but I don't think the goop would show, and I'm a little afraid that the flash might send out some kind of "ultra infra something" beam and cause the egg to explode.

Now I'm getting freaked out all over again.

Yes I know. THROW THEM OUT! - I'm not a complete moron. But in their current mutant state, I feel like I can't just toss them in the trash. That could cause them to detonate! I need to carefully walk them outside to the trash, or seal them in a padded plastic container in a bomb squad like manor.

That or get lucky and have a jerk outside tonight.